The blog saying all the stuff you wished someone would say...™
Photo credit Samantha Eve Yoga and C. Costanzo.
My hand hovered over the trigger.
"Wait!' he cried, 'I thought you loved me!"
"It was never you that I loved," I replied scoffingly. "It was only what you represented...Besides, when we entered into this relationship, you never told me about him!" I pointed to the grotesque being cowering in the corner, yet enjoying the spectacle.
"Actually,' the monstrosity interjected, 'you knew about me from the start. I was clearly a part of this relationship from day one, If you would only look at the contract you signed..."
"Quiet!' he yelled, 'you're not helping matters!" He turned to me pleadingly. "Please reconsider, we've had several magical years together. I've especially enjoyed our monthly liaisons. You were always so...punctual."
"I'll bet you have," I muttered. The disgusting beast in the corner gave a snicker..."so did I," he whispered.
That final comment spurned me into action. I made one more check over my equipment and adjusted to put them both in my sights.
"But we could be together forever!" he screamed. Suddenly realizing I was serious, the repulsive blob in the corner tried to appeal to my inner princess: "Stay with us and we could promise to stick by you happily ever after!"
I laughed even as I steadied my gaze on my targets. "Haven't you heard?' I asked. 'Modern day princesses control our own destinies. I don't need you to stick around in order to get my happily ever after. Besides, I'm thrilled at the thought of your demise, and his." I nodded at him, now struck silent with disbelief, even as his hideous creature was clearly looking for a way out of this situation.
No more words were needed. I was ready. With a final, almost regal smile, I leveled my weapon and hit "Payoff" blowing Mr. Grad School Loan, and his nefarious sidekick, Mr. Ridiculously High Interest Rate, into the great beyond.
About the blogger
Hi! I'm Samantha Eve aka Tink - a kick-a$$ girl boss, party-til-dawn, warrior princess of a yogi, vegan, free-spirit, dancer, model, teacher, coach who - whether rocking a power suit or lingerie, lives life to the fullest.