The blog saying all the stuff you wished someone would say...™
Photo credit Samantha Eve Yoga and C. Costanzo.
Not dying isn’t the same as being alive. You’re only alive when you’re surviving. And you only survive when there’s a risk there’s something you can lose. The more you risk losing, the more you’re alive.
(Adapted from original post on Instagram on October 12, 2019 (Click here for original)
I’m coming out.
Some of you noticed a shift in my social media pages.
Less yoga, more me.
It was never intended to be about yoga.
I almost never describe myself as a yoga teacher anymore.
Community builder perhaps.
Ah yes...that seems to fit.
I connect people, places, things.
Amateur cultural or social scientist?
Just a girl trying to live the best way she knows how?
Or maybe I'll stop trying to define what I am.
But always, my social media was supposed to represent who I am, what I believe, how I feel.
A documented journey of my life in the hopes that somehow, in some small way perhaps, the lessons I am working on learning, will help someone on their path too.
And yet somewhere along the way, I lost a bit of that.
I tried to "fit in", be "normal", follow societal conventions, or the guidelines that "they say" are important to being accepted.
It didn't work.
I felt like I was wearing a mask, a costume that itched and scratched.
I was dying inside. Trying to breathe and failing somehow.
"Fuck they,' I thought. 'I don't even know who 'they' are. So if 'they' don't accept me, does it even matter?"
I’m taking back my life.
Welcome to me.
I have endless energy.
I can work all day, party all night, and start again with a smile on my face.
I preach luv and light.
Acceptance and encouragement.
I talk about sex (enjoy having it), honesty, transparency, transformation, mindfulness and vulnerability.
I prefer boys. I occasionally play with girls. .
I rock it in a gym, on the dance floor, a pole, or in my kitchen.
I like sparkly things, layers of black, thigh high boots and skirts, slouchy jeans.
I’m a vegan eater who wears leather, models fur, can drink Belvedere vodka like a fish without getting hangovers, but often prefers San Pellegrino sparkling water to alcohol of any kind.
I’m smart, I'm curious, and I don't believe in false modesty.
I read all the time.
I enjoy designing clothes and art.
I say fuck - a lot.
Fun fact: Dictionaries classify the word as both a noun and a verb. I would argue for it being used as an adjective as well if you add "in" to the end of the word.
(Yes, I am a proud nerd girl who looked it up in a dictionary.)
I talk with an accent that I have no idea how I got.
I work out...a lot...
I'm hyperactive and have trouble sleeping.
I need a daily does of sunshine, and walks under starry skies.
I adore trying new things.
I’ve worked in many industries - including exotic dancing because nudity doesn’t bother me.
I prefer jobs with odd hours to ones that are 9-5.
I own a business, love traveling, and will probably get another job (maybe involving taking my clothes off) because Boston is expensive.
I live LARGE even though I am short.
I LOVE HARD and my tribe is EVERYTHING.
I believe in DO NO HARM, and DO NOT JUDGE.
And I FEEL amazing in my skin.
So no more hiding or acting small.
This is me.
Haters/trolls can pissoff.
Be you my luvs. Be authentic. Live bravely. Love yourself. And always find the JOY.
Tink (Samantha Eve)
About the blogger
Hi! I'm Samantha Eve aka Tink - a kick-a$$ girl boss, party-til-dawn, warrior princess of a yogi, vegan, free-spirit, dancer, model, teacher, coach who - whether rocking a power suit or lingerie, lives life to the fullest.