The Power in the Pause

The Caption SHOULD Read: Happy girl on vacation.
BUT
Reality and Truth are sometimes different than the picture.

HOWEVER read on friends..this story does have a HAPPY ENDING...

It took me a long time to agree to take a break...It took forever that morning for me to give myself permission to put the bathing suit on and go to the beach to just relax quietly with no agenda in place.
​
Resting is hard for me. I often talk with my yoga students about the importance of the break, the pause, the moment of rest. How it is in stillness, silence, lack of motion, that we find grace, ease, strength, clarity, courage, peace, acceptance, motivation, joy.

And yet here I am in such a BEAUTIFUL PLACE and struggling with the concept of rest.

​Perhaps struggling is too peaceful of a word...fighting, battling, clashing...hmmmm....

As those of you following my Instagram/Twitter/Facebook posts know, lately I have been going going GOING with little sleep, occasionally not enough food to supplement my activities (because I am too anxious to eat), and dealing with many personal stressors EVEN as I am in the midst of the MOST WONDERFUL and TRANSFORMATIVE time in my personal and professional life.

So this time away has offered me such a GIFT of space and time to restore pieces of my soul and heart that are just plain old exhausted despite the abundance of energy that I exhibit in my daily life.

HOWEVER...

​For the past few days…I’ve it has taken such EFFORT to  FORCE myself to rest, eat, and fully being present because my TO DO list - which is to help me figure out the REST OF MY LIFE - is miles long and still THERE.

Isn’t it funny how we concern ourselves with what is not real or true?

This MADE UP LIST of things that I MUST DO in order to FIX the broken pieces of my world and be a SUCCESS became REAL through my own inability to LET IT GO.

THE LIST COULD WAIT...

The health of my mind, body, heart, and spirit COULD NOT wait.

So… this morning… after being up until the wee hours…

I SLEPT IN.

And when the thoughts arrived that I “SHOULD” (awful word) have jumped up earlier to start my day (even though bedtime was around 5ish am) I thanked my mind for the input and said:

I am here to focus on healing, manifesting abundance in all aspects of my life, allowing myself to be open to love, and accepting that I am a being of light.

REST IS HEALTHY.

And when I went outside to eat breakfast and my legs started to do their shaking thing which happens when either I get antsy from being too still ​
OR 
when I am worried about whether I should or should not be EATING (yes I realize that is craziness to even consider not eating…I’m working on it), 

I shifted positions, continued to eat my breakfast, and reminded my body that:

I am here to focus on healing, manifesting abundance in all aspects of my life, allowing myself to be open to love, and accepting that I am a being of light.

FOOD IS NOURISHING.

And when I started to talk with the lovely property owner of my AirBnB about my personal story while eating outside under the perfectly blue sky with the calming breeze, and my heart felt pain over some of the difficult moments in my life, and worry that I would be judged for not having always been perfect in my decisions, I reminded my heart that it is safe to be open and share because:

I am here to focus on healing, manifesting abundance in all aspects of my life, allowing myself to be open to love, and accepting that I am a being of light.

SHARING IS CONNECTING.

And when my spirit was torn about whether to run thru the town and soak up the energy of being in a new space by doing doing doing ten million activities, 
OR 
whether to roll out my may and do a yoga practice, 

I reminded my spirit that we would be out and about later, rolled my mat out under a gorgeous tree in the yard, turned on my music and practiced yoga dance while reminding my spirit that

I am here to focus on healing, manifesting abundance in all aspects of my life, allowing myself to be open to love, and accepting that I am a being of light.

THIS IS MY YOGA.

So I am here, in this beautiful location, reconnecting with people I love and have not seen in many years, enjoying fresh air, sharing my personal journey with you, my peeps, to keep who I am and what I do real, authentic, and true.

Feel free to reach out about your personal journey too. I am always here to listen…

Wishing you health, love, and light, and always always always joy joy joy joy joy!

See you on the mat…with smiles…